DIABOLICAL WHIMSY
Fantastical Art by Kendra Matott
  • Home
  • Kendra
  • Gallery
    • Ritual Factions
    • Fantastical Characters
    • The Circus Images
    • Magician's Apprentice
    • Diabolical Whimsy
    • Underground Cirque
    • Mixed Media Drawings
  • The Ringleader
  • Portraits
  • My Vision
    • Influences and Inspirations
  • Store
  • Blog
  • Connect

Blog

Put on your war paint

3/30/2013

0 Comments

 
Picture
My illustration for Neil Gaiman's August Tale
The last few weeks has been very trying. I worked really hard to finish the illustrations for Neil Gaiman's A Calendar of Tales project (if you haven't heard of this, check it out here). I was very happy with how they turned out. My favorite is to the left, and it was for the August tale. These were my first real attempt to use my mixed media art style to illustrate another writer's work. I found the experience quite interesting and inspiring. Plus, it was a really exciting contest. Neil Gaiman would actually be looking through the entries and choosing which illustrations would be published with his short stories. Thus, the prospect that Neil Gaiman would be looking at my artwork was thrilling in and of itself. And if my work got selected? It would get published! And not just published, but published in a book by Neil Gaiman!! I was so excited about this, I could barely contain myself. I told everyone I knew about it-posted the images on my Facebook page, even wrote about it on this blog. I got a lot of responses from fans. A few said they thought my submissions were way more sophisticated than some of the other pieces. So, extremely excited, I waited patiently to hear back. I figured it would take a few weeks for Neil Gaiman to sift through all the entries, so I wasn't worried when I hadn't heard anything by the end of the week. 

Late Saturday night, I was scrolling through my tumblr trying to make myself be tired enough to sleep. Still curious about the Calendar of Tales project, I searched for it as a tag. The first post I see is one by an artist who had submitted a piece to the contest. Underneath their artwork, they state it has been "shortlisted." The following posts that I find are all similar; posts by artists excited that their work has been choosen as a finalist by Neil Gaiman. One even posted the e-mail they were sent. With a sinking heart, I realize that I did not receive any e-mail like that...meaning none of my works were selected as finalists, meaning Neil Gaiman looked at my work. And he didn't like it. 

Needless to say, I got terribly depressed. I've never been terribly good at rejection, but this was worse. This felt personal. Maybe because I love Neil Gaiman's work, or because I felt close to him through social networking, or maybe it was just because I actually knew who was judging my work. Either way, I was crushed. So many emotions ran through me that night. I felt as if my heart had been broken, as if I had lost a friend. Neil Gaiman, who I look up to as a master of the fantasy world I am trying to belong to, saw my work and did not like it. Or, I suppose, liked others better than mine. With this single decision, I felt as if all my hopes of becoming a successful fantasy artist were foiled. It was as if Neil Gaiman himself was telling me to give up. 

Now, even at the time, I knew all of those things weren't really true. But snapping myself out of this emotional turmoil was tough. However, I did recover, in thanks to my wonderful partner, Serena, my best friend Erin and my cousin Jenny, among others. Through their support, I was able to remember that one rejection does not mean failure. As Erin messaged me:

"One rejection does [not] mean failure or lack of talent. Rowling submitted [Harry Potter] to 11 place[s] before publishing so don't give up [you're] too good for that."
So after a few days of depression followed by encouragement from my family and friends, I am back to working. I will not give up. This opportunity was not a complete loss. He may not have chosen my work this time, but that doesn't mean he hated it. And even if he did, there are people out there who will (and DO) like my work. I will keep creating and I will keep pursuing my vision. 

To end this entry, I'd like to quote Fall Out Boy's newest song, "The Phoenix." which has become my mantra for the past few days. I find it fitting, too, that it has the same reference to this mythological creature as the August Tale, by Neil Gaiman. 
We are the jack-o-lanterns in July
Setting fire to the sky
Here, here comes this rising tide
So come on
Put on your war paint...So we can take the world back from the heart-attacked
One maniac at a time we will take it back
You know time crawls on while your waiting for the song to start
So dance alone to the beat of your heart

Hey young blood
Doesn't it feel
Like our time is running out?
I'm gonna change you like a remix
Then I'll raise you like a phoenix
0 Comments

Your comment will be posted after it is approved.


Leave a Reply.

    About

    Kendra's rantings and ramblings about various topics, including art making, events, writing, movies, music and other inspirations. 

    Follow me...

    on Tumblr.
    on Facebook
    on Twitter

    Like Me On Facebook!

    Archives

    November 2018
    April 2016
    November 2014
    September 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    March 2014
    January 2014
    November 2013
    September 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013
    March 2013
    January 2013
    October 2012

    Tags

    All
    52-Week Photo Challenge
    6x6 Show
    6x6 Show
    A Calendar Of Tales
    All Fired Up
    Andrea Radeck
    Art
    Art After Dark
    Artist
    Bunnykissd
    Class
    Cny Arts Center
    Conventions
    Cousins
    Craft Fairs
    Dollhouse
    Dragon*Con
    Drawing
    Edward Yancey
    Facebook
    FaerieCon
    Fall Out Boy
    Fans
    Firefly
    Gallery
    Giveaway
    Halloween
    Illustration
    Jasmine Mead
    Jesse Renfrew
    Joss Whedon
    Keith Decandido
    Kickstarter
    Lakeside Artisans
    Links
    Maegan Cook
    Models
    Neil Gaiman
    New
    Phoenix
    Photos
    Photoshoots
    Prints
    Pumpkin
    Quotes
    Roc Con
    Roc-Con
    Ryu-Con
    S. A. McKay
    Scare-a-Con
    Self Publishing
    Self-publishing
    Store
    Substitute Teaching
    Taylor's Maid Designs
    The Ringleader
    The Ringleader
    Time
    Timothy Lantz
    Update
    Website
    Wish Bags

    RSS Feed

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.
  • Home
  • Kendra
  • Gallery
    • Ritual Factions
    • Fantastical Characters
    • The Circus Images
    • Magician's Apprentice
    • Diabolical Whimsy
    • Underground Cirque
    • Mixed Media Drawings
  • The Ringleader
  • Portraits
  • My Vision
    • Influences and Inspirations
  • Store
  • Blog
  • Connect